MacMom and Tygger photo album
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Tygger writes:
MacMom and I first started playing backgammon together in December 2000 - she seemed like a very open, fun person to play and chat with, so I would seek her out for a match whenever she was on. At the time I was new to FIBS and she was the first person that I had really chatted with. She invited me to a match because she was in the habit of welcoming newbies to FIBS. At the time, MacMom was having difficulties with her present marriage and was spending most of her spare time on FIBS with her online friends - I offered a sympathetic ear and would talk with her about the troubles she was having. In January 2001 she made the decision that her marriage difficulties were irreconcilable and left her husband, moving into the house that we now share. She was quite distraught, because she takes marriage vows very seriously, and within a couple of weeks I had begun calling her in Kansas from England, just as a concerned friend. We would chat for hours and developed a strong bond surprisingly quickly, both prepared to share our deepest concerns with each other.
MacMom's birthday was at the end of February, and I resolved to fly out to Kansas to meet her. After a few weeks our conversations had become more intimate as a long distance relationship began to form. I felt I knew her very well from the long conversations we had had, but couldn't reconcile the voice I heard on the telephone to the still pictures she had sent to me. I flew out and we met at Kansas City International airport for the very first time. MacMom was very nervous - this spontaneity was alien to her, and our age difference (16 years) was also giving her doubts. She says that these doubts melted away when I held her. We spent a wonderful week together. Although she was working I used the days to explore, as this was a part of the US I had not seen, and we would spend the evenings enjoying each other's company. I knew right at this start, that I had found the right woman for me. It was very difficult to return to England after my trip - parting made me very upset.
Over the next few months our long distance relationship blossomed; again we spent long hours on the telephone and even purchased a videochat program so that we could see each other too. As MacMom is a school teacher she gets a 12 week holiday over the summer and she decided to spend that entire Summer with me in England. This was a big decision for her because she had never left the US before. I was over the moon! I collected her from Manchester airport and we began a whirlwind vacation where we travelled the length and breadth of England meeting family and friends and visiting beautiful places. That week finished all too soon and I had to return to work. MacMom would amuse herself in Newcastle during the day and we would spend the evenings together, either alone or with friends. Every weekend was a different destination so that MacMom could see as many different places as possible during her time here, and meet with lots of other friends that were special to me. One weekend we went to Edinburgh, a wonderful city. In the grounds of Edinburgh castle I asked MacMom to marry me, and to my delight she said yes. At this point we began our painful dealings with the Immigration and Nationalization Service (INS) - a bureaucracy of epic proportions. We agreed that I would move to the States because I had less ties in England. We filed for a fiancé visa and had to wait almost a year until it was finally issued.
During the time we were waiting, I visited MacMom and spent Christmas with her, meeting her family in the process. The wait from mid-August to December was an eternity. We had spent 3 wonderful months together, and telephone/videochat was a very poor substitute. We managed two more trips before my visa was approved; one for me to the US to celebrate her birthday and one for MacMom back to England during Spring Break.
During the wait for my visa I gave away most of my belongings to friends and family. Once we had decided on marriage, we would each take an extra suitcase of clothes, books etc over to the US so that we wouldn't have to ship the belongings I did not want to discard. Once the visa was granted at the beginning of April 2002 I settled the rest of my affairs, gave the remainder of my belongings to charity and flew out on April 25 armed with two suitcases and a laptop computer. Because I had booked my flight only a couple of weeks before, the only trip available was via Amsterdam and Detroit to Kansas City. This was the most miserable flight I had ever made. The flight to Amsterdam was delayed because of fog at Schippol airport. When I finally boarded my plane we were told that our flights in Amsterdam would be held back, because of the weather. When we landed at Schippol I discovered that my flight had left on time and there were no more flights until the following day. Because fog is 'an act of God' they would not provide accommodation and I spent the night drinking coffee and trying to sleep unsuccessfully on a sun lounger in the airport. Because of the time difference, I was not able to get hold of my fiancée as she was at work, and she had planned to meet me at the airport. In the end, I called my mother and asked her to call and leave a message at the hotel we had planned to stay at that night. MacMom spent a miserable night alone there and I eventually arrived, exhausted almost 24 hours later than scheduled.
Despite this unpleasant start to our new life together, MacMom and I have been incredibly happy. We got married on my 33rd birthday (June 15 2002) and I was especially pleased to have my mother there and my best friend from England as best man.
Prior to the wedding our online friends at FIBS organized a wedding shower for MacMom. We assumed that this would be an online party, like people have for FIBSter birthdays and we were very shocked to begin receiving parcels from all over the US, Canada and even Turkey and Sweden! At the appointed time, we logged in to FIBS and I typed MacMom's responses and descriptions of the gifts, as she opened them. We were so very touched by this gesture - people we have never met in person were so generous, loving and supporting of our relationship.
We are in the process of adjusting my status to a permanent resident and six months after I arrived, I'm finally authorized to work, and have a Social Security Number so I exist! I've recently started a new venture which means that we don't have to move from smalltown USA that I love, back to the hustle and bustle of a big city. It is taking some adjustment for me to live here, but finding MacMom has been the most wonderful thing I've ever done. I've never been so happy. We were concerned that the age difference might cause problems for us in the eyes of others, but it has not. People see we are very happy, and even comment that we look right together as a couple. We have challenges (like MacMom's younger son!) but we face them together, as a team.
Before I met MacMom I was very skeptical of internet romances. I never in a million years thought that I would meet my future wife this way, let alone give up everything I had and knew, in order to emigrate to another continent in order to be with her. I am eternally thankful to the internet and especially FIBS. Without these marvellous tools I would not be the happy man I am today!
MacMom and Tygger photo album
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